Supporting families raising balanced, healthy, resilient children with upper limb differences

Drawing from lived experience and clinical expertise, this site offers parents practical, compassionate guidance to support children with hand or arm differences thrive into adulthood.

Learn More

Laura standing under bougainvillea in Kalamata, Greece

photo credit @olgambillia

Hello and welcome to On the Other Hand. My name is Laura Faye Clubok, and I am a pediatric occupational therapist and adult with a congenital hand difference. I created this site to support families raising children with hand and arm differences by sharing insights that parents could not reasonably anticipate on their own. My aim is to offer information and resources about both the physical and psychological aspects of growing up with an upper limb difference.

My work is shaped by both lived experience and more than 25 years of clinical practice with children and families. I earned my undergraduate degree from Harvard University and my master’s degree in occupational therapy from Tufts University, and I am a registered and licensed occupational therapist (OTR/L). I am currently pursuing a Doctorate in Occupational Therapy, with a focus on developing overuse syndrome prevention strategies for children with upper limb differences.

I am honored to support you on your parenting journey — so that you feel more informed, more confident, and more connected.

About This Site

building a physically strong and balanced body

adaptative equipment and technology, avoiding overuse syndrome, encouraging the use of the limb different side, exercise, movement & strengthening, OT/PT services, prosthetics

fostering healthy social emotional development

advocating for your child at school, encouraging positive social interactions with peers, conversations about being different, promoting a "can do" attitude, talking to friends and relatives about your child's difference, validating feelings, watching out for ableism, working with your child's temperament and personality

living a full life

pursuing interests (arts, music, sports), participating in social groups/organizations (religious/ethnic, clubs) friendships, driving, travel

getting connected

people, organizations, books, gadgets, resources

Learn more with Laura!

Do you have a unique situation that requires personal guidance? I'm here to help you find practical solutions for the challenges your little one might be facing so that everyone in your family thrives!

Please contact me for consultation, classes, private sessions, and speaking engagements

life stages

Pregnancy and Birth

Please know that you are NOT alone – in fact, you are in great company! You may be feeling a range of emotions, have a ton of questions, and need support. When you are ready, let’s delve into the issues you may be facing and explore next steps.

Early Years

So much happens from birth to thrugh preschool! In this section, we will address your child’s adjustment to having a hand/arm difference, your child’s functional capacities, and some important additional considerations

School Age

Guest Column: From Daycare to Elementary School, by Laura Tofinchio, Shelton, CT

Teenage Years

Guest column: Middle School and High School & Learning Life Skills, by Laura Tofinchio, Shelton, CT

everyday living

Exercise

Loads of children with hand/arm differences participate in athletics and sports. Playing a sport can improve self-confidence and self-image, provide a fantastic outlet for energy, strengthen the body, and be a great avenue for meeting peers. Depending on the nature of the hand/arm difference and the kind of sport the child has chosen, they may experience some special challenges when engaging in individual or team sports.

Teaching Children How to Ask About Limb Differences

Children need to be taught how to ask questions & connect with people who have visible differences and disabilities. We explore the two different kinds of questions and statements that people often ask and how they affect the listener.

The Overachiever Trap

We delve into messaging that can be detrimental to the development of a child with a hand/arm/limb difference from the child’s perspective. People who did not grow up with a limb difference may not realize how this messaging can affect a child and what the alternatives are.

“How to think like an OT”

Children with upper limb differences often learn from people with two hands—and that means adapting every new activity. It’s easy to miss how hard their bodies are working. Let’s help them become body sleuths and learn to tune into their own needs.

Upper Body Strengthening Tools for Upper Limb Difference

A quick guide to upper-body strengthening tools that work well for children and adults with upper limb differences. This post reviews the specific products I use as a partial-hand adult and pediatric OT, why strengthening supports overuse prevention, and what to consider when choosing tools for different anatomies. Educational only; not medical advice.

Winter Care for Partial Arms and Hands: Skin, Circulation, and Warmth

Winter brings predictable challenges for children and adults with partial arms and hands. Dry air, frequent handwashing, and cold temperatures can increase skin cracking, discomfort, and cold sensitivity, especially when circulation differences are present. This guide outlines practical, prevention-based strategies for protecting skin integrity during the winter months

Start Here: Everyday Living Tips for Children with Upper Limb Differences

Living with an upper limb difference is shaped by everyday experiences: getting dressed, staying warm, building strength, and participating in activities that matter to your child. Here you will find guidance on a variety of topics.

reflections

Stranger

Before there were so many groups for people with limb differences, meeting someone else with a hand difference was a rare experience. This essay contains many of my thoughts and musings on meeting someone with a similar body

Hiding Hand/Arm Differences and Other Issues of Self Acceptance

Reflections on being asked about my difference and suggestions for practicing “scripts” with your child

What Happened to Your Hand?

In this reflection, I explore the question that I feared most in my life and how to ask it of someone else with a limb difference

A Debt Repaid

My childhood experiences receiving occupational therapy instilled a passion for my profession; as an adult, I marveled at the beauty of OT the first time I worked with a child with a similar hand difference.

Graduate School Personal Statement

In my personal statement for my graduate school application, I explained how having OT as a child and later as a teen inspired my desire to pursue becoming an occupational therapist.

Touching The Untouched

I wrote this poem to my (now) husband after we began dating. I dedicate this poem to all of the spouses and loved ones of people with physical differences who saw past the superficial to their partner’s inner being

Quotes

A compendium of quotes found on this site

Letter to my Younger Self

I don’t know why my younger self was born with a little left hand, but I certainly have learned quite a few things about living this life that I wish I could have shared with a younger self

Letter to my Parents, Teachers, and Coaches from my Younger Self

Had I been able to articulate what support I needed as a child, here is what I would have requested of the adults in my life

Lucky Fin Weekend Reflections 2023

This past weekend, I participated in the Lucky Fin Project weekend for people affected by upper limb differences. As a pediatric occupational therapist with a congenital hand difference, I promoted the information and resources on my website and demonstrated the EazyHold adaptive silicone grip assist.

Other Voices: LFP Weekend 2023 Reflections

Many adults who attended LFP 2023 Weekend shared reflections on social media about their experiences. Here are two, one from an occupational therapist and the other from an athete, both of whom have upper limb differences!

Highlights on Hands To Love Hand Camp

Highlights of the 2023 Hands To Love Hand Camp weekend in Starke, Florida!

Moments of Sweetness while Raising a Child with a Limb Difference

All parents experience moments of sweetness while raising their children. As a new parent of a child with a limb difference, you may wonder what moments of sweetness you may experience that specifically relate to raising your child. Here are some that parents have shared over the years.

Preparing yourself for when your child feels SAD about their limb difference

On social media, parents often share about the hard moments when their children feel sadness about their limb difference for the first time. Before offering suggestions for supporting children during these difficult moments, I wanted to examine this situation from the parents’ perspective. All children experience sadness about aspects of their life, but this situation is a little different. Let’s explore it!

Embracing Vulnerability: Journeying Toward Self-Acceptance

On a recent retreat, I openly shared my experiences growing up with a visible physical difference and how it affected my sense of belonging. This openness about my hand allowed me to preempt questions, express my desire to be seen both as having – but not defined by – my disability, and ultimately feel more relaxed and connected. The positive responses from others showed how being vulnerable can foster trust and confidence.

Hands to Love Hand Camp – April 12-14, 2024

Hands to Love Hand Camp 2024 offered me the opportunity to feel belongingness and connection while merging my personal experiences as an adult with an upper limb difference with my professional experiences as an occupational therapist. I am so grateful for this yearly gathering that celebrates upper limb differences in a warm and supportive environment!

Upper Limb Difference Day – June 15, 2024

I was thrilled to participate in the 3rd annual Upper Limb Difference Day as a panelist. The event, a collaboration between Beautifully Made Community and the Orthopedic Department at Boston Childrens Hospital, took place at Lookout Farm in Natick, Massachusetts on a gorgeous afternoon! Speaking as a panelist about technology adaptations and overuse syndrome awareness…

Lucky Fin Project Weekend – July 26-28, 2024

A highlight of Lucky Fin Project Weekend 2024 was talking to almost 100 parents about the prevalence of overuse syndrome in upper limb different (ULD) adults and demonstrating strategies to parents to lessen the risk for our beautiful children as they grow. But whatever I contributed to the weekend, I received so much more back as I connected with families and met beautiful, creative, and energetic little ones!

Seeing the Whole Child with a Limb Difference:

We in the limb difference community are blessed to see so many social media posts about all of the everyday and amazing feats that children and adults are doing. These posts can help both the limb different and limb typical communities challenge ableist attitudes. But there’s more to the story. Championing our beautiful children means more than celebrating their strengths and successes. Let’s dive into what sometimes doesn’t get talked about: the frustrations and difficulties that children and adults with limb differences experience.

Letter from a Parent to their Child with a Limb Difference

Overhearing a parent talking to their child with a limb difference inspired me to think about what I would have liked to have heard as a child. Here it is in letter format.

Mother’s Day Letter to my Mom

I wrote this letter to express empathy for all my mother went through raising a child with a hand difference — and to thank her for all the support and love she gave me over the years.

Bullying Part 3: Is It Bullying, Curiosity, or Something Else?

When a child stares, asks questions, says something hurtful, or touches your child’s limb difference, it can be hard to know how to respond. Is it bullying — or something else? This post helps you understand the difference between curiosity, social behavior, and true bullying, so you can support your child with clarity and confidence.

Bullying Part 2: Practical Guidance for Parents

Supporting a child through bullying or social exclusion requires balance. This post offers practical, developmentally informed guidance on how to talk with your child, when adult intervention helps, and how to strengthen friendships and social support over time.

Bullying Part 1: Understanding Exclusion and Social Systems

Bullying does not always look like name-calling or obvious cruelty. For children with limb differences, social harm often exists on a spectrum from subtle exclusion to hurtful “joking,” sometimes coming from close friends. This post explores bullying as a systems issue and explains why adult support matters.

Part 3: Support, Independence, and the Space Between

How much help is too much, and how little is too little? This post explores how anticipation, responsiveness, and connection support both independence and long-term well-being for children with limb differences.

Part 2: Why Children With Limb Differences Often Do Not Ask for Help

Asking for help can be more complicated than it may appear, especially for children whose bodies work differently. This post explores how cultural expectations, adult assumptions, and early experiences shape help-seeking over time for children with limb differences.

Part 1: The Hidden Costs of “They’ll Figure It Out”

Children with limb differences are often praised for their independence and adaptability. What is less often discussed is the emotional work that can accompany “figuring it out,” especially when support is not clearly offered. This reflection explores what independence can hide, and why it matters.

Start Here: Reflections about Growing Up and Living with an Upper Limb Difference

Growing up with an upper limb difference shaped how I understand independence, emotional resilience, bullying, and self-acceptance. These reflections explore what it meant to navigate childhood, school, social dynamics, and identity in a world built for two hands. Some entries are personal, while others examine broader themes around disability, visibility, and belonging.

let's connect

We are so thrilled that you found us! Please let us know how we can help you on your journey parenting a child with a hand/arm difference

Contact

We will never sell or share your personal information.