Mother’s Day Letter to my Mom

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I wrote this letter to express empathy for all my mother went through raising a child with a hand difference — and to thank her for all the support and love she gave me over the years.

Growing up with a limb difference, there were so many things left unsaid between my mother and me — not out of neglect, but because we didn’t have the words. In this letter, I reflect on what I imagine she felt, what I’ve come to understand, and what I’ve always wanted her to know. Whether you’re a parent or an adult with a limb difference, I hope it resonates with your own journey.

I want to celebrate all the mothers raising children with disabilities and limb differences in particular. I know sometimes your labor goes unseen. Thank you for everything that you do on behalf of your children that goes above and beyond loving, caring for, helping, listening, and sharing yourself, your time, and your energy:

advocating for your child’s needs in school and extracurriculars
connecting with other families to ask questions and set up get togethers
including siblings whenever appropriate/helpful to enable them to develop strong bonds of empathy and connection
problem solving with your child how they can cook, sew, play an instrument or sport, or a million other things
researching the right camps and programs
taking your children to medical providers

💭 Adults with limb differences, have you written to your mother — even if you didn’t share it? I found the process offered clarity, healing, and space to explore what I wish she knew.

Here’s the letter ….

Dear Mom,

When I was born, I imagine you felt a wave of emotions:
– awe – confusion – fear – joy – relief – shock … and probably many more!

So many things were difficult for you

You didn’t expect to have a child with a hand difference
You blamed yourself — no one told you otherwise
No one offered support or guidance on how to raise a child with a limb difference
My pediatrician never asked how you were doing or mentioned my hand (!)

You worried so much

You feared people would be unkin.
You worried I wouldn’t be able to do things like everyone else
You questioned whether I’d have enough strength to deal with everything
You felt distressed that I would suffer from something I didn’t choose
You wondered if I would find love

Everything you felt made sense

In the world we lived in, my hand was seen as “defective” and disability was viewed negatively
Of course you couldn’t predict how my life would turn out
You didn’t yet know how strong I am and would become — how could you?

While I sometimes questioned, I never blamed you for my hand difference – it wasn’t your fault

I have experienced challenges, yes

But I also have been blessed with an incredibly joyful and fulfilling life

What mattered most to me was knowing you loved me exactly as I am — and you’re proud of who I’ve become

And one more thing … what I learned from my experiences has helped shape who I am. Every day, I use:
– advocacy – creativity – empathy – perseverance – problem solving – strength
in my life as an occupational therapist, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend

What none of us could have imagined that changed my life is discovering the beautiful community of people with limb differences where I feel accepted, connected, understood, and warmly welcomed

So on this Mother’s Day — and every day — thank you for all you did to help make me who I am

Thank you for your constant support and encouragement to try everything I dreamed of

And thank you for the millions of things you did for me that I will never even know about

I love and appreciate you with all my heart

Your loving daughter,
Laura

Complete the form below to download a free printable copy of the Mother’s Day Letter to my Mother

Read the other posts in this series:

Posted in Free Handouts, Writings