Part 2: Practical Guidance for Parents
Supporting children through bullying, exclusion, and social loss
If you are new to this series, start with Part 1: Understanding Bullying.
Below: knowing how to respond without escalating harm or silencing your child.
How to talk with your child about bullying and exclusion
Helping children develop healthy standards for friendship
The importance of multiple social circles
When adults should step in
Communicating with teachers, staff, and schools
Communicating with other parents (when appropriate)
Supporting a child who refuses adult intervention
Making space for grief without rushing solutions
When social difficulties affect mental health
Bullying prevention and support resources
Crisis & mental health support resources
Lifespan perspective
A note to parents
About professional support
How to talk with your child about bullying and exclusion
Children benefit when adults name social harm clearly and proportionately.
Helpful conversations:
- Acknowledge the behavior directly (“That sounds like teasing that hurt.”)
- Validate feelings without minimizing (“I’m glad you told me.”)
- Avoid dismissive reframing (“They probably didn’t mean it.”)
At the same time, it is important not to make a situation feel bigger or scarier than it is. A single hurtful comment from a longtime friend is different from repeated teasing, exclusion, or harassment from a peer. Helping children notice patterns over time supports both emotional safety and perspective taking.
Research involving individuals with upper limb differences has shown that children and adults often report anger when caregivers consistently minimize hurtful social experiences. However, children also benefit when adults help them:
- Consider intent when appropriate
- Practice kindness and inclusion themselves
- Hold space for mistakes and repair
The goal is not to label every social misstep as bullying, but to help children learn how to recognize when something crosses from uncomfortable into harmful.
Helping children develop healthy standards for friendship
Children deserve friendships that feel safe and respectful.
Parents can gently reinforce that:
- Friends should not repeatedly make you feel embarrassed or small
- Inclusion does not excuse unkind behavior
- Wanting better treatment is reasonable
Learning to step away from harmful friendships is discernment, not avoidance.
The importance of multiple social circles
Children with limb differences often benefit from having more than one place to belong.
When school is a child’s only social environment, peer difficulties can feel overwhelming and defining. Having additional social circles provides emotional buffering and helps children develop a more stable sense of identity.
Examples include:
- Sports teams or physical activities outside of school
- Music, theater, or creative groups
- Religious or community groups or summer camp
- Limb difference meetups, camps, or family weekends
- Extended family or family friends
These relationships remind children that they are valued in many contexts—not just one classroom or peer group.
This can be especially important during periods of social change, such as:
- Shifting friend groups
- School transitions
- Temporary or prolonged peer conflict
Maintaining connections outside of school helps children stay grounded and reduces the pressure to tolerate unhealthy relationships simply to avoid being alone.
When adults should step in
Adult involvement looks different depending on age and context. In general:
- Younger children often need adults to intervene or set boundaries
- Older children may benefit more from planning, coaching, and behind-the-scenes support
Stepping in is not overreacting when a child is still developing social skills and self-advocacy.
Adult involvement becomes especially important when social difficulties begin to affect a child’s emotional well-being or daily functioning. This may include persistent sadness, withdrawal, changes in behavior, or increasing resistance to attending school. These signs suggest that support beyond peer problem-solving may be needed.
Communicating with teachers, staff, and schools
Patterns matter more than isolated incidents, however, both are important. Parents may consider:
- Sharing observations with teachers or school staff
- Asking how peer interactions are supported during unstructured times
- Collaborating rather than confronting
In addition to classroom teachers, school counselors, school psychologists, and support staff can play an important role in understanding peer dynamics and supporting a child’s emotional health. These professionals can help monitor patterns, support coping skills, and collaborate on strategies that reduce harm and isolation.
Starting a conversation with school staff
Parents do not need perfect wording to advocate effectively. Clear, calm communication focused on patterns and impact is often enough.
Examples:
- “I’m noticing a pattern where my child is being excluded during unstructured times. I wanted to understand what you’re seeing and how peer interactions are supported.”
- “My child has mentioned repeated teasing related to their arm difference. I’m less concerned about any single incident and more about the pattern over time.”
- “We’re working on coping skills at home, but I want to make sure the environment is also being addressed.”
Communicating with other parents (when appropriate)
In younger years especially, social interactions often occur with parents nearby.
When possible, it can help to:
- Build casual relationships with other parents over time
- Approach conversations with curiosity rather than accusation
- Focus on behavior and impact, not intent
As children get older, this becomes more complex, and parental involvement may need to shift.
Starting a conversation with other parents
When speaking with other parents (when appropriate), focusing on behavior rather than intent can help.
Examples:
- “I wanted to share something my child experienced, because I’d want to know if the roles were reversed.”
- “This may not be intentional, but the impact has been difficult.”
Supporting a child who refuses adult intervention
Some children fear that adult involvement will make things worse. Parents can:
- Respect those fears
- Explain their role as protector and guide
- Collaborate on next steps whenever possible
Children do not always see the long-term picture. Parents sometimes have to hold that perspective for them.
Making space for grief without rushing solutions
Losing friendships can hurt and changing peer groups can be painful. Not every situation has a quick fix. Sometimes what children need most is:
- Validation
- Time
- A steady adult presence
Support does not always mean immediate resolution.
When social difficulties affect mental health
Sometimes bullying or ongoing exclusion can contribute to broader emotional challenges. Signs that additional support may be needed include:
- Ongoing sadness or irritability
- Withdrawal from friends or activities
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- School avoidance or frequent complaints of feeling unwell
- Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness
In these situations, involving a mental health provider, pediatrician, or school-based counselor can be an important step. Seeking support can protect a child’s well-being and help them feel less alone.
Bullying prevention and support resources
These resources offer education and practical tools for families navigating bullying and exclusion. They are not specific to limb difference but may be useful complements to the information shared here.
StopBullying.gov
Evidence-based information on bullying prevention, cyberbullying, and how schools can respond.
PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center
Strong parent-facing resources, including disability-specific considerations.
Common Sense Media
Guidance on digital citizenship, cyberbullying, parent controls, and online safety for children and teens.
Understood.org
Helpful for families navigating social challenges, especially when disability or learning differences are involved.
Crisis & mental health support resources
If concerns about bullying, exclusion, or social distress begin to affect your child’s mood, behavior, or safety, additional support may be needed. Reaching out for help is a protective step and support is available. The resources below are appropriate if a child expresses thoughts of self-harm, shows signs of depression or withdrawal, engages in school avoidance, or if caregivers feel concerned about their child’s immediate emotional safety.
A global directory of suicide prevention and crisis support services:
United States
- Call or text 988
- Chat via the 988 Lifeline website
- Available 24/7 for children, teens, and adults
- Provides support for emotional distress, suicidal thoughts, and mental health crises
- Text HOME to 741741
- Available 24/7 in the U.S.
- Especially accessible for teens who may prefer texting over talking
International Resources
- Phone: 116 123
- Email support also available
- 24/7 support for emotional distress and crisis
- Phone: 13 11 14
- 24/7 crisis support and suicide prevention
International Suicide Hotlines
- The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) maintains a directory of crisis centers worldwide
- Families outside the U.S. can find country-specific helplines through the IASP resource directory
- Lifeline International is a network of ommunity-based suicide prevention organizations across the world
Lifespan perspective
Supporting children through bullying and exclusion is about more than stopping harm in the moment. It is about helping them build self-respect, discernment, and confidence in choosing healthy relationships. These skills matter far beyond childhood into adult relationships.
A note to parents
If you are reading this after your child has already experienced hurt or exclusion, you are not alone. These dynamics are complex, often subtle, and rarely explained to families ahead of time. What matters most is not what was or was not known earlier, but the support and care you offer now. Even small shifts in language, awareness, and advocacy can make a meaningful difference for your child over time.
Future posts will explore related topics, including ableism, identity, and how intersecting experiences can influence social belonging and exclusion.
About professional support
This information is intended for general education. It is not a substitute for individualized support from a licensed healthcare, mental health, or educational professional. If you have concerns about your child’s emotional well-being, functioning at school, or safety, seeking individualized support is an important next step.
© 2026. Laura Faye Clubok, MS, OTR/L, On The Other Hand Therapy. All rights reserved.