When physical issues cause SADNESS for your child

Pink gradient with white text that says "reflections from an OT with a limb difference" and a bubble with blue and black text that says "? | when physical issues *cause SADNESS for your child with a limb difference." Small blue circles with an icon of a person with a partial arm and partial leg and "ontheotherhandtherapy"

This post is the final in a series that applies the genius empathetic parenting strategy of asking your child when they feel sad, “Do you want to be hugged, heard, or helped?” from Jancee Dunn’s NYTimes column When Someone You Love Is Upset, Ask This One Question, published 4/7/2023.“ In the previous post, we addressed what to say to your child when they choose “helped” and you suspect that their sadness about their limb difference stems from a social-emotional trigger. In this post, we discuss sadness related to physical challenges they may face having a limb difference. Here we explore how to respond when there are activities that they:

  • Want to be able to do
  • Want to be able to do better
  • Want to be able to do more easily
  • Want to be able to do with less discomfort or pain

We examine what solutions may address the physical challenges they may be experiencing:

Adaptive Devices

Devices can help with daily activities, reduce strain, and encourage balanced body development. For example, straps that help with grasp, and adaptive kitchen gadgets. Accessible clothing options include elastic laces, magnetic buttons, slip on shoes, and velcro closures. Check the resources page for suggestions for adaptive aides, clothing options, and cooking gadgets.

Home Adaptations

If you can normalize their use throughout your home, your child may feel less singled out as needing help. An example is replacing round knobs with lever handles for doors and faucets, which are easier to grip, are easier to turn, and often assist both the limb different side(s) and the dominant side.

Prosthetics & Activity Specific Devices

Children with upper limb differences often reject general prosthetics. Children often find activity specific devices work better. For example: devices for hobbies, leisure, or sports (e.g. biking, cooking, doing yoga, etc.).

School Accommodations

There are two basic ways that children with disabilities can be eligible for accommodations or services.

  • IEP: An Individualized Educational Plan is for children whose limb difference impact their educational progress, which in some cases can be difficult to demonstrate. Under an IEP, the child receives services to improve their skills and they also may receive accommodations. It is important to note that many services, such as school-based occupational therapy, are considered “related” services, meaning that the child must first demonstrate that their disability adversely impacts their educational progress.
  • A 504 plan is used when a student doesn’t need or qualify for direct services and the child receives accommodations only.

Adaptive Technology

Adaptive technology options can help children with upper limb differences increase their typing speed, enable/encourage use of limb different side(s), minimize strain on the side used most, and reduce the long term risk of overuse syndrome. Many good options exist, such as: ergonomic mice, smaller keyboards, voice to text, adaptive computer accessories, one-handed keyboard layouts, and word prediction software. Learn more about adaptive technology options for children with upper limb differences.

Specialists who can help navigate solutions

There are a variety of specialists who have expertise that can help you and your child make informed choices. Here are some good options:

  • Occupational Therapists
  • Physical Therapist
  • Prosthetists
  • Educational Advocates
  • Assistive Technology Lending Libraries and Librarians

Read the other posts in this series:

©2024. Laura Faye Clubok, MS, OTR/L, On The Other Hand Therapy

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