Start Here: Reflections about Growing Up and Living with an Upper Limb Difference

Introduction to reflections
Holding the whole experience
Independence and support
Big feelings about limb difference
Bullying and social experiences
Identity and self-acceptance
Letters and personal reflections
My professional path
Community and event reflections
What this category is (and isn’t)
Quick links

A pen lies next to a notebook lying open on a desk

Introduction

This is where I post my writings about the parts of limb difference that are harder to quantify.

Not the clinical pieces, checklists, or “how-to” strategies, but the emotional undercurrents, emotional adaptations, and things children carry without always having language for their experiences.

Some of these posts are personal. Some are written from imagined perspectives. Some are grounded in professional insight. All of them explore what it means to grow up, parent, or live with a limb difference in a world that often assumes, “They’ll figure it out.”

If you’re new here, this page will help you find a place to start.

Holding the whole experience

Raising a child with an upper limb difference includes moments of deep joy, connection, and pride — as well as moments of frustration, sadness, and uncertainty.

Both can exist at the same time.

This section reflects the fuller picture of the experience, beyond what is often visible or shared publicly. It offers space to acknowledge the challenges while also recognizing the meaningful, often unexpected moments that shape the journey.

👉 Moments of Sweetness While Raising a Child with a Limb Difference
A gentle invitation to notice, remember, and hold onto the meaningful moments that bring connection, joy, and perspective over time.

👉 Seeing the Whole Child with a Limb Difference: Celebrating Strengths & Supporting Struggles
A reflection on moving beyond celebration alone to also acknowledge the real challenges children may face—and how both are essential to truly seeing the whole child.

Independence and support

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re helping too much, or not enough, begin here. This series explores what independence can mask, why children don’t always ask for help, and how thoughtful anticipation supports long-term well-being.

👉 Part 1: The Hidden Costs of “They’ll Figure It Out”
👉 Part 2: Why Children With Limb Differences Often Don’t Ask for Help
👉 Part 3: Support, Independence, and the Space Between

Big feelings about limb difference

There is a multi-part series on children’s sadness and other big feelings, including reflections on:

Why sadness shows up
How parents often respond
What children need in those moments
How to prepare yourself emotionally when your child feels sad

(Some of these pieces live in Life Stages and Early Years because they are developmentally focused, but they connect deeply to the themes here.)

If you’re just starting with these issues, I recommend beginning with the post about preparing yourself. It reframes the moment before it arrives.

👉 Preparing yourself for when your child feels SAD about their limb difference
👉 What to say & do when your child feels sad about their limb difference

Bullying and social experiences

These reflections look beyond surface-level advice and explore the emotional and relational layers of bullying, especially when visible difference is involved.

If your child is experiencing peer challenges, or you are still carrying memories of your own, this may resonate.

👉 Bullying Part 1: Understanding Exclusion and Social Systems
👉 Bullying Part 2: Practical Guidance for Parents
👉 Bullying Part 3: Is It Bullying, Curiosity, or Something Else?

Identity and self-acceptance

I traced the emotional work of growing into comfort with difference, not as a single turning point, but as an ongoing process in:

👉 Embracing Vulnerability: Journeying Toward Self-Acceptance
👉 Seeing the Whole Child with a Limb Difference: Celebrating Strengths & Supporting Struggles

Letters and personal reflections

Sometimes it’s easier to understand something when it’s written as if it were spoken directly.

You’ll find several letters here, including:

👉 Mother’s Day Letter to my Mother
👉 Letter from a Parent to their Child with a Limb Difference
👉 Letter to my Parents, Teachers, and Coaches from my Younger Self
👉 Letter to my Younger Self

These pieces explore perspective, gratitude, grief, and love in a more intimate format.

My professional path

Here you’ll find my Graduate School Personal Statement.

It offers context for why I approach limb difference the way I do, where clinical training and lived experience intersect.

Community and event reflections

Connecting with others in the limb difference community can be a powerful and meaningful part of the journey — for both children and families.

These reflections share experiences from community events, gatherings, and conferences. While each event is unique, they offer a glimpse into the connection, learning, and sense of belonging that can emerge when families come together.

These posts may also help families consider whether community events feel like a good fit for their child or family.

👉 Lucky Fin Weekend Reflections 2023
👉 Lucky Fin Project Weekend – July 26–28, 2024
👉 Upper Limb Difference Day – June 15, 2024
👉 Hands to Love Hand Camp – April 12–14, 2024
👉 Highlights from Hands to Love Hand Camp
👉 Other Voices: LFP Weekend 2023 Reflections

What this section is (and isn’t)

If you are looking for meaning, perspective, and emotional nuance, you are in the right place. Reflections invite you to:

Slow down and notice what might otherwise be overlooked
Consider what children experience internally, not just externally.

These writings won’t offer scripts for what to say in every moment.

👉 If you are looking for practical strategies, visit Everyday Living.
👉 If you are looking for developmental guidance, visit Life Stages.

Wherever you begin, I hope something here helps you feel less alone, or helps you see your child more clearly.

Quick Links

Part 1: The Hidden Costs of “They’ll Figure It Out”
Part 2: Why Children With Limb Differences Often Don’t Ask for Help
Part 3: Support, Independence, and the Space Between
Bullying Part 1: Understanding Exclusion and Social Systems
Bullying Part 2: Practical Guidance for Parents
Preparing yourself for when your child feels SAD about their limb difference
What to say & do when your child feels sad about their limb difference
Mother’s Day Letter to my Mother
Letter from a Parent to their Child with a Limb Difference
Letter to my Parents, Teachers, and Coaches from my Younger Self
Letter to my Younger Self
Embracing Vulnerability: Journeying Toward Self-Acceptance
Graduate School Personal Statement
Everyday Living
Life Stages

Posted in Reflections